I'm not fit for this...

(Forward: This was written in 2023 when I was still on social media. I found it unpublished. I felt it was befitting to precede the next journal post coming soon on where we are today in 2025.)

"...the insta-homesteading I mean. Not the real life homesteading. I am all in on the real life homesteading. The living in the rural countryside. On a few acres. Caring for our chickens. Tending our freedom garden. Baking from scratch. Homeschooling our boys. Having a place for them to roam free. Teaching them skills, joy in hard work and pride in a job well-done. Keeping a sanitary, non-toxic home. Cultivating a simple life for our family. I'm all in.

This realization coming from a few conversations with friends this week. There is a side of this community I'm finding isn't pretty. And didn't exist at all until just recently. Instagram is FLOODED with new "homesteaders" with marketing degrees, fluffing up a life that has little real life fluff in it.

I was one of those folks who jumped on the mass exodus out of the burbs. But it wasn't social media that persuaded me. If anything, I immediately felt the lack of authenticity of many of these "accounts". My desire to leave the matrix was spiritual. Primal. You see, I was born with a great need to be FREE. I've always needed it like I needed air and water. My whole life. Around the time I was in college I felt a great desire to live on a deserted island, fishing and cracking coconuts.

Around that time, an opportunity found me and I found myself living in Honduras for a bit. I got to fish on an island and crack a coconut and trek through a jungle barefoot. But I couldn't stay. So I planned to go back to finish my final year of college. Instead, I ran off to New York. I got into the grind of the city but the city was draining my soul. And it was certain the only way I would make it there would be to sell my soul entirely. So I flew back south. I finished college. I married my husband. We traveled the world. I had our babies. Then, about 3 years ago, the world stopped. And in the quiet, I saw God. I asked him to lift the veil from my eyes and save me from myself. And, sis, did He ever!

He put this desire on my and my family's hearts. Not to chase after someone else's life. But to created our own. A sovereign place. One that was thoughtfully planned out. We made realistic goals. We utilized preparation. We assessed our situation. We knew we still wanted to travel from time to time. Mostly to visit family. So, we researched and found that egg laying chickens were an animal that could be left for about a week by creating a huge, secure enclosure and setting up plenty of fresh water and food stations for them. We've found that chickens will survive not being free-range for a week. They are living their best chicken lives, I assure you.

Would I like to have a family dairy cow? Absolutely. Would I like to have poultry chickens? Yes! Would I like some goats, sheep and maybe a donkey or two? Oh, friend, I want all the animals. But that's not realistic for our family. For us, that's maybe someday. For others, it's an insta-dream.

You see, I had another friend recently send me a video on Instagram of a popular "influencer" that shared that she and her family had decided homesteading wasn't for them and they went right back to the burbs and are happy to be back in the matrix with all the normal folk again. She didn't use that wording, but her description described how happy she was to no longer have any hard work for her or her children and that they "could just be children again". They could go on vacations to Disney World whenever they pleased and swing by Target for a carton of organic grass-fed milk any day of the week.

Changing one's mind doesn't bother me. Living in the burbs doesn't bother me. Live in the matrix if that's what makes you happy. Do what you think is best for your family. However, I have a big problem with the authenticity of social media. What are you leaving out of your explanation? Out of your perfect photos? Where is the why? Why did it not work out? Where is the admission of failure? Where did you make mistakes? What could you have done differently? Was it just the demand for your time? Or was it physical work or the heat or the bugs? Why did you leave your comfortable life in the first place? Why would anyone ever choose to go back to a life that relies on systems for survival? I want to understand the folks who ran to this life, only to go back. And I'm already starting to see it happening...

I may never understand. And that's perfectly okay. I guess this is where I would encourage other's who long for this life; who scroll through other's social media photos of chickens and lush gardens, to ask themselves, "Are you longing for the images you see? Or does your soul not belong where you are right now? What is your goal? Is it to be self-reliant? To be free? Are you ready to go all in? Or are you going into this life with, we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't work, we can always sell our 7 acres and go back to the burbs when it stops being fun and easy.

For us, this is freedom. This is a place far away from the noise of the world and slightly closer to heaven. Prior to moving, my husband and I talked about what we wanted in a property. Food, medicine, open space, no neighbors or HOA's ever again. No one to tell us what to do ever again. As much as we'd love 50 acres and all the animals, we know that is not where we are in our lives yet. Maybe if we lived near family or we had a solid community or enough money to hire help. But none of those things are our reality. We are a military family. We know we won't be in a place for more than a few years at a time until my husband retires. That means we don't have family nearby. We have to build our support system again. Make a few good friends and get to know our new community. And we have enough to pay the kid down the road a couple of bucks and some free food to check on things while we're gone.

So, you see why we have to keep it small and simple. A few acres, a dozen chickens and a garden big enough to feed just us is what we have right now. We planned as a family, we made realistic goals, we executed those goals, and now we maintain our little home. We work at it most days of the week. We work with our hands daily. Some days are hard work. Some days we get to sit back and just feel gratitude. We have plans to grow the garden. Have medicinal plants. We learn more about other animals from folks in our farming community in case we are able to add more animals some day. We'll likely never have a huge farm with hundreds of animals. We're okay with being reliant on our local farming community for what we don't have. What's for certain, our life will always be simple. We're never going back.

Going back means relying on the systems that fail us all. To the fake and synthetic. To the distraction and the noise. To a place where all the things and conveniences make it hard to hear God. God is easy to find out in the country. All you have to do is look around. Listen in the quiet. This is where real life is. You can't convince me otherwise. If you want this life. You want to have a little (or big) piece of land, be actively preparing. Research as much as you can from various resources. Learn from folks already doing it. In real life, not on social media. Offer to help a farmer or homesteader friend. Ask them questions. Learn. Make realistic goals for your family. Be prepared to work and sweat and get dirty. There will be ruthless bugs and there will be poop.

Be prepared to change your habits. To be more sanitary. If you lived in the suburbs, you didn't have to worry about washing your hands regularly or keeping your pair of work boots outside because they have animal feces on them (you should never wear those shoes inside). Or let your livestock inside your home period. I'm new to all of this, but even I know you must keep a clean home out here to avoid visiting the medical system.

Most importantly, it's okay to not do this. I actually recommend you not do this unless your whole heart is in it. If you have reservations at all. Maybe a neighborhood is best for you. Maybe you just need a little more room. Find a neighborhood without an HOA. So you can have a few small animals. Everyone should have their own chickens. And a small garden to feed your family. That can be done on a quarter acre easily. You can have both. You don't have to move out in the middle of nowhere on several acres to fulfill your homesteading dreams. But if you're soul needs more freedom than half an acre, come on, friend. Life isn't very long. What are you waiting for?"

~Casey

Owner & Shopkeeper